Tuesday, November 29, 2005

5 Things about the Czech Republic

-You can get a ticket for jaywalking if you don’t cross at a pedestrian crosswalk, but no-one yields to pedestrians anyway
-Even when it’s freezing cold outside, there are still a lot of girls wearing short skirts. I personally don’t think tights are that warm, but maybe it’s just me!
-It is socially acceptable to wear your cell phone on a lanyard around your neck or attached to your belt (well, it is convenient!)
-You have to weigh your own fruits and vegetables at the supermarket. When I first got here I didn’t know that and the lady at the supermarket subjected me to a severe tongue lashing in Czech and everyone waiting in line wanted to kill me. I didn’t understand what anyone was saying though so I wasn’t too bothered
-Many people think that deodorant is optional. You will find most of these people on the tram/metro

On a completely unrelated note, after years of not attempting to cook anything much more complicated than spaghetti or stir-fry I have started to cook real food. Yesterday I made curry potatoes and green beans and my roomies loved it! Even though apparently they were a bit spicy (which I didn't notice due to years of de-sensitizing my taste buds). Whenever someone cooks well Bina says "Oh, you can get married now!", so I guess eventually one day I will be able to get married. But only as long as the guy doesn't mind the fact I can only cook 6 different kinds of meals. And he does the dishes.

Monday, November 28, 2005

Stodolni Tour 2005

Stodolni Tour is an event organized by AIESEC Ostrava that invites trainees and Aiesecers from around the Czech Republic to Ostrava to experience Stodolni Street and get their party on. I helped out a bit with it and mc'd some of the stuff that night. Definitely crazy.

Highlights:
-I was on the OC and me and the other 2 girls did a dance to Hollaback Girl. Yes, it included some spanking.
-I had my "lips" from Hilary and Kimberly, they make a cool whooo-whooo-whoooooooo sound that everyone seemed to love. A lot of people kissed me on the "lips" that night
-There was a buffet and the Ostrava trainees (my people) decided we should bring as much food as possible to our table and share it, thus creating our own buffet. We are so cool.
-We had a competition for the titles of "Mr and Miss Stodolni Tour", both were won by Ostrava trainees--Bina and Hong. The challenges were hilarious, stripping, sexy dances, kissing etc. Check the pictures for more details. Highlights included when the guys were dressed in women's clothing, Hong and Lukasz dancing, and Bina stripping Chucho. Words are not quite enough to describe how funny it was.
-Whipped cream fight-we surprised the aiesec president and some other exec members by telling them to come onstage and not telling them why. They got creamed, and then everyone got in on the action.
-My roomies decided that drinks weren't quite cheap enough in the Czech Republic and that they should buy some bottles of vodka and drink in the street until we got to the next bar, hilarity ensued.
-My male roommates thought it would be a good idea to show people their nipples. Totally funny. Later on in Desperado I was talking to someone near a window and looked out the window and saw one of my roommates showing me his nipples through the window while talking on the phone. Random.

The next day: 3 jackets and a hat missing, Lukasz safe
-We realized Lukasz was not dead in a ditch like feared since he had left without telling any of us.
-He realized that he had forgotten his jacket at the club and walked home in 0 degree weather without it.
-The Dutch guy that was staying with us complained that someone stole his jacket when in fact he had left it at the club as Lukasz discovered when he went back there to look for his jacket.
-Erick was so smashed he wore someone else's jacket home from Desperado. The best part...it was a girl's jacket that looked NOTHING like his other jacket! And he lost his favorite hat.

My stomach was sore the next day from laughing so much the night before. Stodolni Tour was definitely a success.

Pictures are posted in the Stodolni Tour album of 'My Pictures'.

Friday, November 25, 2005

Pictures

My work computer does not let me post pictures directly onto the blog, so check out the 'My Pictures' link if you want to see pictures. If you would like to see the one of Malta guy getting picked up by the stripper it can be found in the "Stodolni with the Boys" album.

Etiquette

Dedicated to whomever may have done the following, whether it be a resident of Jindrich or our Dutch guests that are with us at the moment.

If you are going to puke, please puke in the toilet. It is there for a reason, and you can magically flush the evidence away. If you notice not everything is magically flushed away please wait and re-flush. The trash can and the bath are not acceptable locations for vomiting. And no, the sink is a not a good idea either.

Please have some decency and realize that while our accommodation is not luxurious, it is still our home. Also, note the fact that the employees of Hotelovy dum Jindrich are crazy at best, and people (like me) do not appreciate having a hostile encounter with the angry cleaning lady at 7:30am in which she yells in Czech something to the effect of "I am a cleaning lady not a slave" and proceeds to drag you around the flat pointing out unacceptable areas of slovenliness and telling you precisely where she found vomit. This cleaning lady manages to have body odor at 7:30am, and it is not pleasant to smell first thing in the morning.

Thank you.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

My Roomies

So, some of you have asked me to explain my living situation here in the Czech Republic. I have to say that the reason that I have such a great time is because I live with some of the coolest people to be found. And I'm not just saying that because some of them might read this blog. ;) Here are the people (my Hotelovy dum Jindrich family) that make my life in Ostrava so awesome! Most of them are leaving in December which sucks big time.

Ladies first!

Mirka (Slovakia)- We share a bedroom ;) Ooooh baby. She's super nice, funny, and calls me sweetie. I have to admit that I like it. A lot. And she's hot. Mirka is so awesome to have around because she speaks Czech unlike the rest of us. And she doesn't mind the fact that my part of the room looks like a tornado hit it. Yay for Mirka!

Lucie aka Lulu (France)- We have all agreed that Lulu is pretty much the only French person we have ever met that we really like. Even she admits that when she is in Paris and she smiles people think it's weird because they are not used to it. And she doesn't seem to mind that we make fun of how French people are smelly. She's not smelly though. And she is vegetarian. Her diet consists of yogurt, chocolate, soup, and musli. She's hot too! And a really good dancer. When I told her "Wow, Lulu, you are a really good dancer!" she replied, "My boyfriend is black, what do you expect?" Awesome.

Sabrina aka Bina (Brazil)- I call her Bina maria amor de mi vida (love of my life) sometimes. After the first name of a girl sometimes Bina adds maria for no apparent reason. So, I am Aruna maria. The first time I met Bina we immediately clicked and have some kind of cosmic connection. We can talk about anything and everything. And we both like to grab people's asses. We took the train to Prague once and talked for 4.5 hours straight and only stopped for bathroom breaks. It's crazy. She's leaving in 2 weeks and I can't think about that anymore because I will become depressed. Now I have to learn Portuguese and go to Brazil.

Erick aka Chucho aka Chuchito (Mexico)- His name is Erick de Jesus and the nickname for Jesus is Chucho. So we call him Chucho sometimes. I like Chucho because I can say stuff like "no mames!" and "que pedo!" to him and we understand each other! Plus he's a fun guy. Especially when drunk. No further comment there. Erick and Lulu constantly tease each other about being either a lazy French girl or a lazy Mexican.

Tommaso aka Tommasito (Italy)- Tommasito is a sweetie, very Italian. He always knows the right thing to say. The other day I was saying something about getting fat and he patted my belly and said "this is sexy on a woman". Riiiiiight. But still, nice try Tommaso.

Hong (Hong Kong)- It amuses us to no end that Hong is from Hong Kong. So sometimes we call him Hong Kong. He doesn't seem to care. He's a really good guy. The girls and I voted and we agree Hong is our favorite because he's nice and not always trying to get into some Czech girl's pants. No offense other guys, we still love you too. But We [heart] Hong.

Lukasz (Poland)- Lukasz is a pretty fun guy. Except for that time when he got into a fight with some guy at the bar and broke his glasses. Unfortunately, I missed that incident but now when I'm wearing my glasses around him and making fun of him I want to say "What are you going to do? Break my glasses?"

Liviu (Romania)- Liviu can be quite entertaining, he's got some funny stories. I also love that he knows random R&B music and obscure english phrases. Him and Ionut always cook full Romanian meals together. Unlike the rest of us he hasn't made an ass of himself when drunk yet, but there's still time. Or maybe it's only me that does that....oops...

Ionut (Romania)- Ionut's signature phrases include "Hey Baby" and "Can I be the meat in your sandwich?". Both good. Plus, he has a nice ass. And he's a better dancer than most white boys, so we are trying to learn some fun salsa moves.

I saved the best for last:

Malta guy aka Joseph- I can't even verbalize what Malta guy is like. Malta guy is impossible to imagine, you have to meet him to fully understand the extent of his weirdness. Many of us have come to the conclusion that it is actually quite impressive that someone like Malta guy even exists because it's hard to imagine an environment that would shape such a person. He's smelly and totally incapable of interacting in a social setting in a normal manner. Nastya (Russian) told us a Russian saying that is very appropriate here: There is no family without the freak. So we can conclude that while Malta guy is an irregularity, he is necessary to complete our Jindrich family. As my sister has pointed out numerous times- mutual dislike of one person brings the others together, so maybe that is why the rest of us get along so well. He also provides us with constant entertainment and things to talk about. (Reference stripper incident in previous post)


So that's it for the current roomies but I would also like comment on some of the dearly departed:

Nastya (Russia)- Yes, that's 'Nasty' with an 'a' at the end. Nastya was a great party girl, and we miss her a lot. She was always ready to dance on the bar/table with me and we broke hearts when would get our dance on. Too bad she went back to Siberia! And she would always tell us wise Russian sayings.

Sasha (Ukraine)- Sasha was a man of few words and spent the majority of his time drinking beer. He also refused to ever dance unless it was to a slow song. And he was always receiving secret calls on his cell phone and going to his room to talk so we concurred he must be a member of the Ukrainian mafia. They wanted him back home, so he left!

So, maybe this gives you a bit of insight into the people I live with and how I can manage to entertain myself without the internet at home or a television. I don't know why, but things are exponentially more funny in Jindrich. The other day Lulu and I were pretending to be monkeys and dying of laughter. Yesterday Bina was pretending she could speak Polish and reading lines from Lukasz's passport and it was HILARIOUS! Probably one of those "you had to be there" moments, but truly funny. I'm so glad I'm here for these random moments.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

I'm easily entertained

Thanks to Hilary "Spoon" Anaka for the following:

He's like a stairmaster, you know why? Because he's stepping it up!

[maybe one of these days I too will be like a stairmaster and step it up]


What do you say to a one-legged hitchhiker?

Hop in!

[funny!]

The hitchhiker joke is reminiscent of my friend Kari's favorite joke (miss you pareja!):

Why did the little boy fall off the swing?

Because he had no ARMS!

[you have to picture this and it's really really funny in that horrible "you are going to hell for this" kind of way and then I think..."HA I don't believe in the concept of Hell! Take that suckers!" But then I do believe in karma to a certain extent and that ALWAYS kicks you in the ass]

Lazy motherduckers

When I was in Vienna with my mom we saw these ducks being lazy and I said to my mom "What a bunch of lazy motherduckers!" Then my mom told me to watch my mouth. This is funny if you know my mom. And no, she didn't smack me upside the head. Apologies to those who have heard this story, but I still think it's funny! P.S. don't tell my mom about the blog!

Last weekend I was alone in Ostrava with my guy roommates since the girls were all out of town and since we don't have television or alternate methods of entertainment we decided to go to Stodolni (the street with all the bars). After spending a few hours in Desperado (our second home...the best bar in Ostrava!) and having an encounter with a very drunk lady with a bindi on who kissed my ear, we decided to go home. There's a strip club on the way home with no cover charge. I was alone with 5 guys, so obviously we stopped there. Definitely the highlight of the night. We saw our weirdo roommate Joseph (who we never actually call Joseph but call him Malta guy since he's from Malta) with his head in the stripper's lap and getting some good value out of his 50 crowns (<$3CAD). The stripper picked him up that night. And by picked up I don't mean she was hitting on him, I mean she physically picked him up. It was hilarious. I will post a picture later.

Yesterday I went to Karvina (a town near Ostrava) for Global Village that was run by AIESEC Karvina and Erasmus (exchange) students. Basically there's a table set up for every country and each table has typical food and drink. Needless to say it was very fun. I spent too much time at the Finnish table since they were the last ones to run out of alcohol. It was hard to get up this morning, it's a good thing I am not challenged at work.

Another thing that pisses me off is the damn cleaning lady at Jindrich (place where I live). She starts to vacuum at like 7am! What the hell is wrong with her?? She knows we are sleeping. I have to wake up at 7:30 so I'm bitter that my last precious moments of sleep are so rudely stolen from me. But I am very happy that we have a cleaning lady, it means I never have to clean the bathroom or vacuum. All this with a room that only costs $90CAD/month. I guess I shouldn't complain.

Adventures in Czecholandia and beyond....

Mmmm...yeah. So I've decided to start a blog since I have so much time at work to use in a more productive way than just reading other people's blogs. Plus, this might be better than clogging up everyone's email boxes. I know you are excited because I am so wildly entertaining. Kind of fashionably late with the blog thing---but hey, I'm never on time anyway.

So, for those of you who have been deleting/ignoring messages I send you or you just don't know me, I'm in the Czech Republic doing an internship for 8.5 months. I'm here until the end of April so plenty of stories should ensue. I will also post later about fun stuff that has happened so far.

My sister calls the Czech Republic Czecholandia sometimes. I think she's trying to be funny, but I'm mad at her because she hasn't emailed me in over 2 weeks. Meena, you're not funny. So there.