Prosim! A Tairyfale: Part I
Main Characters: Claire (UK), Jenny (China), Nuria (Spain), Erik (Canada), Yuan (China), me
Takes place in: Praha, Hluboka, Ceske Budejovice, Cesky Krumlov
Once upon a pivo... there were 6 merry youngsters who decided to see what Southern Bohemia had to offer. They travelled from far and wide (Brno and Praha) in hopes of having a magical tairyfale weekend. It was futsking dobře.
They began their journey Friday by meeting in Praha, and went out for some pre-trip bonding where they had the pleasure of watching a Czech man dance on a pole and push girls out of the way so that he could have more attention whilst displaying his sensual dance of love.
Early the next morning they embarked on a journey to the village of Hluboka to see a castle that appeared as if it had come straight out of a Disney movie. In line with traditional Czech Easter practice, they carried with them a lucky stick (it is Czech tradition to whip girls with birch sticks on Easter Monday, but since Erik was the only boy, the girls decided to whip him instead). Many a funny moment ensued with the stick, but the girls were soon to realize that Erik should not be trusted as he plotted to gain control of the stick. Alas, (for Erik), the girls were cunning enough to recover control of the stick. He was punished accordingly.
The youngsters, having resided in the Czech Republic for a while, decided to tour the castle with the Czech tour as they had missed the English tour. They soon realized that although they have lived in the Czech Republic for a while, they are incapable of understanding anything in Czech that does not refer to ordering beer. After the tour, in true tairyfale fashion, they witnessed 2 weddings. The merry group was astounded at the utterly unsightly wedding dresses, and more troublingly, the hairstyle of one of the grooms. The groom had taken pains to fashion the most hideous mullet known to man. The girls questioned, “Why? Why? Why would you marry a man with a mullet?”, and were puzzled as the bride was not even ugly. Prayers for the bride, hope Mr. Mullet was rich. Yuan was previously unfamiliar with the term mullet (best explained as business up front, party in the back), and asked “What if you’re balding and you have longer hair at the back, but nothing really up front?”. She was soon to learn this maxim, “The mullet is a choice, baldness is not your fault”.
After admiring the beautiful castle, our fair group decided they needed a change of scenery and moved along to Ceske Budejovice, the home of the “original” Budweiser brewery. They met many a character inside the restaurant/brewhouse, including a table of people who were testing their alcohol level with a breathalyser a la Tucker Max, and a fat man who came over and gave everyone at the table little paper umbrellas to stick in their food. Nuria was presented with a decorated egg from another intoxicated fellow as well. All in all, a good time. Our group also was informed that beer is 90% water, a fact which, in itself, justifies beer consumption. One needs 8 cups of water a day! Keeping this in mind, the braver few opted to try the 1L beer, which came in glasses larger than the size of most of their heads.
Once the beer was finished, the troupe decided to find their accommodation for the night in Ceske Budejovice. Lost for a moment, they soon realized that there were a few Mormon missionaries around (recognizable by short sleeve shirts and ties), and asked for directions. Soon they were able to locate their pension, although they had no idea what the grandma who showed them their rooms was saying. After a trip to the town square, and dinner, the day soon came to an end. Exhausted from the day, the group decided to have an early night.
To be continued...
Note--
The three most overused words on this trip were:
1. Prosím-Czech for "please, you're welcome, or pardon", which we soon adopted to mean pretty much anything based on context and how you said it.
2. Dobře- Czech for "good, ok, all right"
3. Futsk-'Fuck' read as if you were reading it in Czech (where 'c' is pronounced 'ts'), therefore futsk.
All three in a sentence: "Prosím! That was so futsking dobře!"
Takes place in: Praha, Hluboka, Ceske Budejovice, Cesky Krumlov
Once upon a pivo... there were 6 merry youngsters who decided to see what Southern Bohemia had to offer. They travelled from far and wide (Brno and Praha) in hopes of having a magical tairyfale weekend. It was futsking dobře.
They began their journey Friday by meeting in Praha, and went out for some pre-trip bonding where they had the pleasure of watching a Czech man dance on a pole and push girls out of the way so that he could have more attention whilst displaying his sensual dance of love.
Early the next morning they embarked on a journey to the village of Hluboka to see a castle that appeared as if it had come straight out of a Disney movie. In line with traditional Czech Easter practice, they carried with them a lucky stick (it is Czech tradition to whip girls with birch sticks on Easter Monday, but since Erik was the only boy, the girls decided to whip him instead). Many a funny moment ensued with the stick, but the girls were soon to realize that Erik should not be trusted as he plotted to gain control of the stick. Alas, (for Erik), the girls were cunning enough to recover control of the stick. He was punished accordingly.
The youngsters, having resided in the Czech Republic for a while, decided to tour the castle with the Czech tour as they had missed the English tour. They soon realized that although they have lived in the Czech Republic for a while, they are incapable of understanding anything in Czech that does not refer to ordering beer. After the tour, in true tairyfale fashion, they witnessed 2 weddings. The merry group was astounded at the utterly unsightly wedding dresses, and more troublingly, the hairstyle of one of the grooms. The groom had taken pains to fashion the most hideous mullet known to man. The girls questioned, “Why? Why? Why would you marry a man with a mullet?”, and were puzzled as the bride was not even ugly. Prayers for the bride, hope Mr. Mullet was rich. Yuan was previously unfamiliar with the term mullet (best explained as business up front, party in the back), and asked “What if you’re balding and you have longer hair at the back, but nothing really up front?”. She was soon to learn this maxim, “The mullet is a choice, baldness is not your fault”.
After admiring the beautiful castle, our fair group decided they needed a change of scenery and moved along to Ceske Budejovice, the home of the “original” Budweiser brewery. They met many a character inside the restaurant/brewhouse, including a table of people who were testing their alcohol level with a breathalyser a la Tucker Max, and a fat man who came over and gave everyone at the table little paper umbrellas to stick in their food. Nuria was presented with a decorated egg from another intoxicated fellow as well. All in all, a good time. Our group also was informed that beer is 90% water, a fact which, in itself, justifies beer consumption. One needs 8 cups of water a day! Keeping this in mind, the braver few opted to try the 1L beer, which came in glasses larger than the size of most of their heads.
Once the beer was finished, the troupe decided to find their accommodation for the night in Ceske Budejovice. Lost for a moment, they soon realized that there were a few Mormon missionaries around (recognizable by short sleeve shirts and ties), and asked for directions. Soon they were able to locate their pension, although they had no idea what the grandma who showed them their rooms was saying. After a trip to the town square, and dinner, the day soon came to an end. Exhausted from the day, the group decided to have an early night.
To be continued...
Note--
The three most overused words on this trip were:
1. Prosím-Czech for "please, you're welcome, or pardon", which we soon adopted to mean pretty much anything based on context and how you said it.
2. Dobře- Czech for "good, ok, all right"
3. Futsk-'Fuck' read as if you were reading it in Czech (where 'c' is pronounced 'ts'), therefore futsk.
All three in a sentence: "Prosím! That was so futsking dobře!"
posted by Aruna at 3:31 PM
2 Comments:
It's funny how you say "Erik is *punished* accordingly". You realize it'd be a big problem if you say it in Brno. :P
Haha, you're futsking right, I didn't even think of that. I was in a Praha state of mind and didn't think about the Brno implications of that.
While we did not "punish" Erik in that way during the trip I'm pretty sure Erik punished the stick (or vice versa) at some point, he took it to the bathroom remember??
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